Tuesday, December 25, 2012

All I Want for Christmas is You

"Make my wish come true. All I want for Christmas is you."- Mariah Carey

First off Merry Christmas from the great city of Detroit. There has been so much that I wanted to blog about but I've either been too busy or too lazy to. (How's that for a conundrum?) Either way, I wanted to make sure that as much as I love Christmas music, I at least share this joyful bit with you.

Also, a bonus for those who are still holding the children of Newtown, Conn. in their thoughts and prayers.

"God bless the child who suffers."- Shania Twain


Thursday, November 1, 2012

Travel the World (Love Uses Time)

"I could have traveled the world but I was somebody's girl. Because I thought it was real. That's how love uses time up."- Keke Wyatt

2012 has proven to be an eye-opener for me.

In the past 12 or so months, I witnessed several of my closest female friends and relatives endure the pain and loss that comes with getting a divorce. And the marriages have run the gamut from 23 years all the way down to four years and everything in between.

The one common thread in speaking with all of these women is how much time they've not exactly wasted, but consumed, only to begin all over again.  For the person who was married 23 years, she is learning during her middle-aged years how to live on her own. Despite having successfully raised three children and running a household, she is finding great difficulty in becoming adjusted to the one-income lifestyle which is something I've been doing for the past eight years.

She is also dating again and enjoying that. But it's like she is rediscovering our hometown. For the longest, she was one of the many people who immediately dismissed Detroit and would say there's nothing to do there. Not anymore, she is going to poetry events and finding underground venues and just having fun with the current man in her life. Yet, it still amazes me that I seem to know more about our shared hometown and she is that much older than me.

She is also coming to a point where she is considering returning to school which is something that she never thought about while married. She may actually travel somewhere for something besides a family reunion. It's almost like while she is burdened more than ever, the sky is also the limit.

While my other friends have not had as drastic situations, they do acknowledge that pretty much all of their 20s was experienced as married women and they are not exactly prepared for what is out there now. I've seen it and depending on how you look at it, it's not much when it comes to dating. But there are opportunities in every other area.

Now let's look at my life. Yes, student loans are getting on me for the first time ever and I realize why everyone cursed them. Yet, if everything goes as planned, I could be traveling to Italy next year. Then again, there's a part of me that feels like the money I spend may be better going towards paying my credit card debt down. But then again, I probably should do it while I'm younger because who knows what's ahead. But hell, I have the option and I can think about the option. Something that didn't appear to be available to my friends while they were married.

Sunday, October 7, 2012


"Got my dreams. Got my life. Got my love. Got my friends. Got the sunshine above. Why am I making this hard on myself when there's so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy."- Natasha Bedingfield

For the past few days, I have been in a good mood. Not that everything is perfect in my life, but sometimes you just feel good and decide to let it ride out.

I've been getting out and about. Got my hair relaxed and it's hanging and swaying like it's supposed to. Hanging out at debate watch parties and comedy shows. Enjoying my company. And when I'm alone, I've been enjoying being by myself. I watched a movie that I had been meaning to see for a couple of years and laughed hard. During this time, I even watched a video that my mom sent me of the family dog just rolling over in the grass like it was the best thing in the world. And I'm not even ashamed to admit I watched it more than once. (Hey, it's not everyday that you see a 10-year-old mutt acting like a puppy.)

There's no rhyme or reason for this mood. Yet, a couple of weeks ago, I was in a hardcore, reflective funk and there was no real rhyme or reason for that either. Yet, if I can ride out that journey, I can enjoy this cruise. And that's just what I'm going to do. :)

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Friendship Train

"We've got to learn to live with each other, no, no matter what the race, creed or color"- Gladys Knight & The Pips

I've had the pleasure of loving a black Republican. And when I say a black Republican, I mean a Rush Limbaugh-loving, welfare-bashing, Reagan-loving Republican. That Republican was my grandfather. 

And maybe that's why when I read such FB comments as "all Republicans hate black people" or "the only reason Republicans won't vote for Obama is because he's black", I shudder to think what it must be like for those few black Republicans who do wear their politics on their sleeve. My grandfather was one of those people. Yet back in his day, he could engage in healthy debates. He typically was stubborn, but he never demeaned anybody in his conversations. 

I probably also take offense to the whole inclusive statement thing because I hate when people assume I am a Barack Obama-supporter because of the color of my skin. For the record, I consider myself a moderate. I will vote for the person who I believe will fix shit or won't fuck it up anymore (or at the very least won't invite the second coming of 9/11). While right now I can see plenty of reasons why a person wouldn't vote for Romney, I can also see where a person who doesn't agree with President Obama's stances on various issues would vote against him. That's the thing about voting, sometimes it's not so much a vote for someone as much as it is a vote against something. Trust me, I know. My first presidential election was the 2000 election and my second was 2004. 

I just hope that at the very least, the conservatives and liberals in my life learn how to coexist peacefully for the remainder of this election season because we will have to long after that first Tuesday in November. I'm all for intelligent discussion and sharing viewpoints, but it would just be nice to do it without all the bashing. 

Friday, September 7, 2012


"Can't fall down. Stay triumphant. Keep on living. Stay on your toes. Get off the ropes. Don't let 'em ever count you out."- Mariah Carey

Over the course of the past two weeks, I've sat through some of the Republican National Convention and the Democratic National Convention and watching President Barack Obama accept his nomination brought to mind imagery of this song. The president is not backing down even when polls suggest he could be in for a losing battle.

Working as a journalist for years, my political opinions always were muted in an effort to be objective. For the first time since I could vote, I can watch all of this unfold and vent through social media and this blog. The number one thing that I thought: Anybody can sound like they have all the support in the world when they are preaching to their choir.

Great speeches were made this past week and my timelines were filled with quotes and photos and the like. That's great and all but as anyone can tell you, it won't matter if you don't show up in November. All the rhetoric in the world does not a re-election or election make. Anyone who thinks any speech made over the past week was so great that they can fall back is a prime example of how thinking too highly of anything can lead to an ultimate downfall. More and more work will be needed as the election draws near.

Monday, September 3, 2012

One More Night

"And I be waking up, feeling satisfied but guilty as hell."- Maroon 5

This weekend, I visited my parents and grandma with the goal of getting some of the best barbecue ribs in the Midwest. That goal was so met.

However, in the course of trying to get to these ribs, I had a conversation with my mother where she pretty much insinuated that I was having a very active sex life. I neither confirmed nor denied these allegations for I feared that a denial would lead to lesbian questions and a confirmation would lead to other questions. 

The simple truth is I haven't hooked up with anyone in months. Why? Because the older I get, the more I realize that it is harder to have uncomplicated sex. Either someone will want to get more involved, have a higher sex drive or the person you really want in your bed wants someone else. Or you just put yourself in a situation that you know is not really healthy for you mentally or even physically and that leads to what Maroon 5 speaks of in this song. But of course that is the situation that you become addicted to. 

So now I'm at the point where I can look at a guy and in my mind, evaluate whether he is doable and whether I want to deal with any aftereffects. At the moment, that second answer is a resounding "no" for everybody.

Friday, August 31, 2012

Oh What A Night

"Oh what a night, Oh what a night. Straight shots of Patron and a slice of lime. And I got myself too drunk to drive."-Elle Varner

That used to be me, particularly in my mid-20s and when I lived in Mississippi and Georgia. 

Do you want to know what my original plans were for tonight? I was going to have a "me" date after spending last weekend with my sorors and just having a looooooooong week. Seriously I would've lost my head if it wasn't attached to my neck. I know this because I lost everything else. It was definitely time to just enjoy being by myself.

Anywho after earning myself a date with myself, I was supposed to take myself to Mellow Mushroom, watch the Think Like A Man DVD, and end the night with a really great orgasm. Wanna know the only thing that happened? I purchased the DVD.  This date was an epic fail. Only I can find a way to give myself a raincheck. However, I did spend a nice chunk of the time speaking to my friend who had been in the hospital so that's a good reason.

Still, I can't help but think that maybe I need to make more of an effort to get out in Columbus on the weekends. Possibly with shots of Patron or some dark liquor. However, I still plan to make the "me" date happen eventually. I deserve it. LOL!

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Tell Me No

"Tell me no and I'll show you I can."-Whitney Houston

Earlier this week, I was reminded why whenever my mother asks me how's everything at my job, I normally just say "good" or fine."
For some reason during this conversation, I actually decided to share with my mom a portion of what I had been thinking recently. And of course, she shot down the idea. 

For some women, their mothers are their biggest supporters in their lives. For me, I would have to say my mother is the biggest naysayer in my life. It's very rare that she will support something as I'm going to it, but she is often the first one to pat me on the back and brag when I have completed the task. 

After years of this, I realize that I shut down as soon as any idea of mine is dismissed or someone puts down anything I put forth that I care about.  I have been noticing it more around friends and even in meetings. If you deem my idea idiotic or treat it as a nonfactor, I pretty much opt not to say anything else.

So now, even though I have boasted on this blog about living a solo lifestyle socially, I think I may move in that direction in a service capacity as well. And who knows what will happen with my job. But trust that just because I'm not say anything, it doesn't mean I'm not doing anything. ;)

Monday, August 6, 2012


"You don't think that I'll be strong enough. No baby now. I won't be the prisoner of your love. I'm just not the girl you thought I was."-Mariah Carey

Yesterday, I had a conversation with an old college friend who is getting married next month. We talked about everything under the sun including her telling the guy that could never even commit enough to be called an official "ex" that she was getting married.

The funny thing is it had been a few years ago when he "decided" to let her go and said she deserved to be happy. Well his very awkward response to her announcement indicated that he may have been eating those words. Of course, he "let her go" but I don't think he thought there would come a day where she would become "permanently unavailable." Yes, "getting married" is heard as "permanently unavailable" to anybody with a strong attraction or affection for you who has any kind of morals. And honestly dude acted like he never expected such a day would come. Oh well.

In some strange way, getting your heart broken hurts like hell during the process but sometimes you come out better. For one thing, being the victim of a breakup pretty much means you are pretty much forced to get over it. And after putting in all that work and possibly therapy, there is very much no sense in returning to the scene of the crime. Also, you were never the one who made the "decision" so you really don't have that to mull over. You eventually become free from the person who placed you in that situation. 

The other person often doesn't get that. Since they are the doer, they must hope and pray that they made the decision with all the finality that they thought they did on their end. And they don't really have anything in the beginning that they initially feel they have to bounce back from. They just better hope no feelings creep up down the line.

So glad to see my friend free of that ish.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012


"Don't start no shit, won't be no shit."- YoungBloodz

So not a huge fan of hip-hop but I had to do this for my favorite Jawja shorty.

This time last week, I was enjoying my last evening of blissful ignorance for I did not know that earlier last Wednesday, one of my closest, dearest friends was in ICU in Baltimore. Not only that, she was in the hospital with what would later be discovered as an aneurysm, multiple blood clots and a mini-stroke.

To say that my heart damn near stopped that Thursday evening when I received the call just may be an understatement.  See, at that point, all I knew was she was in the ICU with an aneurysm and up until then the only word I had ever associated with that condition was death. Mainly because most times I had heard that word, someone had died. Yet, by the end of the night, my fears were partially assuaged.

By Friday night, I had spoken to her and as of today, I've spoken to her three times and even received an email. She's weak and worn and tired. But she has tried to keep a good humor through it all. And she will need that as she recovers physically and mentally. 

So as she works on her memory, I can't help but think of one of my most favorite memories of her. One day we were in an editorial board meeting for our school newspaper having what I'm going to assume was a lively debate. I look over to my Georgia-born friend and she is not singing or even humming, but she is bopping to the beat of this song on the blog. We all knew she loved the song and when we stopped to gaze at her, we knew exactly song was playing in her head.

Instead of the pain and the confused memories, I so wish this song was filling her head right now.

Friday, July 20, 2012

I Choose

"Here I am now looking at 30 and I got so much to say."- India.Arie

I had been planning on doing this blog for a couple of weeks now as I was approaching my 30th birthday, but life got in the way. Somewhere between my friend's visit here, my sorority conference in Chicago, and my birthday celebration in D.C., I just didn't find the time to blog about what turning 30 would mean.

So I was asked several times if I had been hit with anxiety over leaving my 20s and my answer was and is "no." I feel like I did everything in my 20s that I was meant to do. Seriously, I feel that way.

Plus, I have had the opportunity to be surrounded by so many older, fabulous women in my life who have served as mentors, advisors and sometimes even lifelines.  From them, I learned that nobody should be afraid to live and learn and benefit from those lessons. Not that I'm rushing it, but I'm looking forward to the strength with which I will hold my convictions and my beliefs when I turn 40. I feel like 30 is when you can finally speak on some things with a bit of authority and people actually believe you have it. 

Also, I'm also noticing how much more I know "me." I think it does take a few years of living on your own before really knowing the person that you are absent from your family and friends. In knowing me, I tend to speak up more when something won't work for me. I can be honest when situations don't agree with me. I can admit when something is uncomfortable. Hell, I can go out, admit that I'm tired and return to my bed with no remorse of not proving I can hang longer. That's for the 20-somethings. I've already seen the sun set and sunrise on Bourbon St. in New Orleans with no sleep in between for days in a row. I can have an entire weekend of sitting on my ass and be cool with it. And something tells me this is only going to get better. 

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Perfectly Different

"Cause I'm alright when I'm with you. Don't have to change when I'm with you. We're both unusually. Both undeniably. We're just perfectly different."-Karina Pasian

So this will likely be the last wedding song blog, but I was inspired to end it with this song after reading this blog about how women pretty much select men by want while men select women based on need.  The blogger pointed to the fact that both sexes need to find somewhere in the middle.

This song points to how a relationship, particularly a marriage, should be a complementary relationship. Both people should bring something different to the table.  Because honestly, being with someone just like you probably leads to something much like groupthink and we know how dangerous that can be.

For instance, I can be very Type-A at times and I'm the biggest advocate of "planned fun".  However, I have learned to appreciate the guy who is more spontaneous and laid-back because he will probably be the one to keep me from taking high blood pressure medication at a young age.

Complementary, appreciative relationships. What a concept. 

Friday, June 15, 2012

Cheers 2 U

"I know we can win and you can depend on me through the thick and thin."-Playa

Lyrically, this song really should not apply to a wedding until the 1st chorus. But like all young girls, I had a guilty pleasure and this was it.  

In my mind, since this song came out, I always thought it would be cool that if I ever got married, this song would be played during the garter part of the reception. It would be even better if the groom's portion of the bridal party did a little routine to it.  What's better than a guy stating that he adores you and he plans to be there for you.

Silly, I know, but y'all know I try to keep it light on Friday.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Joy Ride

"We got something they can't touch. We found love."- Mariah Carey

Now back to our regularly scheduled program and did you really think I would get through a month of wedding songs without featuring something from my favorite artist.

For that feeling of euphoric love, this goes well for a wedding. It speaks of having that real feeling for the first time and feeling as though the one you're with is irreplaceable.

Also, you have to admit that you can't just go on a joy ride with just anybody. It requires company that you actually enjoy because traveling somewhere with an unknown destination can be frustrating in and of itself. But with the right company, you don't care (much) about gas money or time. You just sit back and enjoy.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Because of You

"Because of you, I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt. Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me."- Kelly Clarkson

I interrupt my scheduled month of blog posts about wedding songs to address something that has been on my heart since yesterday afternoon and this just may be my most personal blog to date.

Unless, you were hiding under a rock, you heard about Creflo Dollar being arrested for choking his daughter after she reportedly wanted to attend a party at 1 a.m. in the morning. She fought him. He fought back. She called the police. He got arrested.

For most people, the event was just an opportunity to offer up their views on physical punishment.  For the most part, most of the people that I follow on various social networks condoned what the pastor did. 

However, for me, it was a strange case of deja vu of an event in my life that I would love to never have to remember again. On a Sunday morning in October 1998, I was a teenager doing my homework as my father, the deacon, was getting prepared to go to church.  For some reason, on this particular morning, out of nowhere, he declared that I needed to clean my damn room. Mind you, my room was always a mess so this was out of the ordinary for him. So I said something about having to do my homework which on most days he would consider my top priority.  But on this day, he decided that if I didn't clean my room that day that I was not going to the homecoming dance that following Friday with my boyfriend whom he refused to even meet or have a conversation with.  So he storms downstairs in my house and when I "think" he is out of hearing distance, I muttered under my breath "son of a bitch." Next thing, I knew he flew up the stairs, knocked me down to the floor, choked me and banged my head up.  All the while, I was thinking that was going to damn near kill me.  He eventually stopped but by the time he was finished, my mother had called the cops.  My dad had finished putting on his church clothes when the cops came to the door, handcuffed him and hauled him off to the local police department. My dad's words when the cops arrested him: "I was disciplining my child." I went with my mother to the police department where the sergeant on staff pretty much told me I was a terrible child.  My mother and I went home and moved everything from my bedroom to my grandmother's house while nursing a gigantic bump on my head and that is where I lived until I went off to Howard.  As for my dad, my mom picked him up from the police department later that day and he never hit me or her again.

Noticed I put the word again.  See, I knew what my father was capable of from growing up and watching him hit my mother. My father pretty much used the same maneuvers that he had used on her.  However, my mother chose to live with it until he beat the crap out of me. At that moment, she remembered what a doctor said when she told him of the abuse that she was receiving. The doctor asked her if maybe he didn't know he was doing something wrong because he didn't suffer any consequences.  As you can see, I was the one he was intending to punish that day, but he learned a lesson.

However, my father learning the lesson did not by any means alleviate any of the effects that the event had on me and quite possibly Dollar's daughter is dealing with similar feelings or consequences as she gets older. I will put forth the main three relationships that may change when your father also happens to be a man of the church.

1) Your relationship with religion/God: On the day that it happened, it really struck me that my father was a man heading to church, was a pillar in the community, and the man everyone found charming and reliable.  He was the ultimate churchgoer and in church at least three days a week.  At that time, I was already questioning religion as a result of attending churches of various denominations and witnessing the politics.  However, after that, the idea that a man of God could hurt me in such a way pretty much ruined my desire to know any higher deity in a Christian church because if that was the Christians acted, they could have it.  

2) Your relationship with men: If the first man who is supposed to protect you and support you above else harms you in that manner, it pretty much sets a low threshold for the men to follow in your life.  It can also make you form strong opinions about domestic violence and once you've been a victim, you never want to be a victim again.  Even if that means hitting your ex-boyfriend. Yep, I did it. And I'm not proud of it.

3) Your relationship with your father: This is pretty obvious.  Before and after the incident, I managed to be a daddy's girl. However, I am what you would call a guarded daddy's girl. My father is proud of the Tasha that he knows and yet, I can honestly say he really doesn't know all that much about the woman that I've become since then.  Furthermore, any argument or negative conversation that we have always takes me back to that day.  In the end, I knew it was more about the boyfriend than anything else and therefore, I fear the next time I will ever get a significant man in my life because I see the way he acts with his other children. So pretty much, I know I can never have open and honest conversations with my dad about my love life. Our discussions revolve around work, my car, and very random areas of common interest. 

But in the end, he still loves me and I still love him.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012


"I want to spend the rest of my life. With you by my side."- Boyz II Men

While living in the lovely quaint city of Hattiesburg, Miss., I got introduced to this song. At the time, a coworker informed me that if she had ever gotten married, this would be her song. And this was when it was a hit originated by the country group Lonestar. Fast forward a few years and one of the best vocal groups of our time covered it. Both renditions are beautiful if you ask me.

On shows such as Sex In The City, when offering advice to a woman on reaching the sometimes seemingly unattainable goal of getting married, women who have seen the finished line often say that the key is to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. 

If you find such a man, this is definitely the song to take your last walk down the aisle as a single woman. The lyrics display a man who is completely taken and smitten with the woman he is in love with.  And I have actually witnessed a man with that look on his face as his bride walked up the aisle at my friend's wedding a couple of years ago. So yes it is possible to use this song in a real-life situation.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

I Won't Give Up

"I won't give up on us. Even if the skies get rough."- Jason Mraz

This is probably the most recent addition to my wedding song contender list.  When I first heard it, it stopped me in my tracks.

While it has a beautiful melody to slow dance too, the major focus of this song is the lyrics. A large part of maintaining a successful relationship or marriage is persistence.  I imagine for some people that it can be very easy to walk away. As a matter of fact, by the number of divorces and broken engagements I've seen among people my age, it has proven to be way too easy.  Though, as with many things in life, getting somewhere is not always the hardest part, it's staying there. 

That's why this song speaks to me in a commitment-phobic world and I find it suitable particularly for a wedding dance. In the song, he says "God knows we're worth it" which means he places great value on the relationship as most people who get married should. Also, he points to the fact that obstacles may come, but he plans to fight them. Quite admirable, I might say.

I will provide this disclaimer going forward that I am a huge advocate of songs that remind the bride and the groom of the work that lies ahead of them.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Let's Get Married

"Meet me at the altar in your white dress. We ain't getting no younger so we might as well do this."- Jagged Edge

I have a confession to make. While I am not the biggest fan of weddings, the one aspect that I have always cared about since I was little was the songs that were going to be played at my wedding. I am talking about from the walk down the aisle to the bouquet toss to the garter portion, I have probably picked songs for each of these rituals.

So of course when I attend weddings, I am engaged in some serious music analysis and I normally come up with one of two conclusions 1) the people aren't paying close attention to the lyrics or 2) the people do not have an expansive repertoire because I keep hearing the same songs at the weddings I go to.

For instance, the song in this blog. Don't get me wrong, I'll dance to it and it's my jam. However, the lyrics in the song pretty much point to a man marrying a woman because it's the one thing he hasn't done and he's getting older. Oh and by the way, you won't find another man who will tell you all this. 

So I have decided to take the month of June and share some wedding-related songs that have caught my attention. I may even focus on some I think have been played too much or I just think are ridiculous for weddings. Hopefully this will motivate me to post more than a few times this month. 

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

It's My Life

"It's my life. It's now or never. I'm not going to live forever. I just wanna live while I'm alive."- Bon Jovi

One of the best things about getting older is a greater awareness of how much your time is your hottest commodity. People will ask for it. Some people might even beg for it.  And the older you get, the more you place your own value on it.

When I was younger, I seriously used to be down for anything. I was that person who just about anyone could call up if they wanted to hang out. Some of those times, I have to admit that I wouldn't have minded staying at home by myself doing my own thing. But at the time, I thought that would've been a lame response so I went. Because for some reason, I wanted other people to place some value on how I spent my time. How ridiculous was that?

And then this weekend, I was meeting new people and having conversation with friends about my upcoming plans for my birthday weekend in D.C. (probably happy hours and brunches with a little Michael Jackson Immortal thrown in) and next year, I plan to travel to Italy. Also, I plan to spend this summer exploring Columbus as much as possible. I've been part of a really good MeetUp group for the better part of a year and I want to see more.  Tell me why people were questioning why I decided on these events. And I found myself having difficulty responding when they lacked the enthusiasm I had for my plans.  But I finally found an answer. And it goes exactly like this.


Tickets have already been purchased. Saving plans are already in action. List of events to attend have already been made. I have concluded that I do not have time for people who do nothing but complain about how there is never anything to do because I can find too much to do. And sometimes that will merely be reading a book on my own time.


Monday, May 21, 2012

You Can't Win

"If it's right, you always miss. You can't win. No."- Kelly Clarkson

Today, I found myself reading an article about how a black mother was upset with the movie What to Expect When You're Expecting because no black women were depicted in it. I mean black women do get pregnant, don't we? If you listen to certain pundits, that's all we know how to do. She also took issue with the fact that the book which has been deemed "the pregnancy bible" did not address black women specifically.

I found this interesting because when one of my closest friends became pregnant, I purchased a book specifically focused on black mothers. But do you want to know what her favorite pregnancy book was? That's right. What to Expect...During my practicum at a public library, I learned that the book was one of the most stolen books at public libraries. That and the Bible. Obviously there are a lot of pregnant heathens out there.

But while reading the blog, I noticed that a lot of my aggravation derived from the fact that I saw no point in putting a black woman in the movie just to claim diversity. If they had done so, she better not had been the unmarried woman because of course we don't need another single black mother portrayal. However, she could not have been the married professional black woman wondering how a baby would fit into her career plans because we've seen her too many times too. Maybe she could've been a housewife but then if everybody had decent jobs, the question would've been why did she have to be the unemployed one. And let's not even get into how could they possibly make her seem like an organic part of the cast if she truly was a main character because she must not be the voice of reason sister-girl so often seen in romantic comedies of a similar vein.

Yep, if I was white working on this movie, I would've left it alone too because black people have proven time and time again that you cannot please them and they will always complain. Even in a really simple romantic comedy about having babies.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

No More Tears (Enough is Enough)

"It's raining. Pouring. There's nothing left for us here. And we won't waste another tear."- Donna Summer

Unless you've been hiding under a rock today, you know that the dazzling Disco Diva Donna Summer died from cancer earlier today. And so far in 2012, she's just the latest in a line of people who, with them, took a piece of my musical childhood.

Yes, I should not have been listening to "She Works Hard for the Money" but "Last Dance" was my jam from when I first heard Sandra Clark sing it to her beau on 227. But nothing compared to when Aunt Oona (played by Donna Summer) from Altoona performed it on Family Matters. She was beautiful and spirited then. I promise you if that episode was on right now, I would be watching it and I overdosed on Family Matters reruns a long time ago.

Now while "Last Dance" is the penultimate Donna Summer song for me, this song right here just does something for me. For one, it's a very empowering song for when you need to get rid of unneeded baggage. Two, her and Barbra Streisand are holding it all the way down and while I'm not the biggest Barbra Streisand fan, I will admit she can sing her butt off. (Anybody who can sing on command at a moment's notice the way she does gets much respect from me in this audiobox world.)

But this is about Donna. She never reached the ranks of Whitney, but she will always hold a special place in my heart. And because she always appeared to be so positive, I'm not going to waste another tear and will instead opt to listen to her greatest hits album the same way I always do.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Better Days

"Silver gray hair neatly combed in place. There were four generations of love on her face. She was so wise. No surprise passed her eyes. She's seen it all."- Dianne Reeves.

I cannot let this day go by without blogging about one of my most favorite, possibly my most favorite people, in the world. That is my grandmother.

Today, she turned 80 years old and after my grandfather passed at 77, the late 70s always had a weird symbolism for me. So her making it to 80 is a pretty big deal for me.
See, my grandma is my boo. I love her to death. If anybody has shown me what unconditional love is, it's her. She's a great supporter, listener, motivator and disciplinarian, when she had to be.

My grandma lived across the street from my parents so I always got to spend time with her when I was a child. I never had a baby-sitter because I had grandma. And like a true grandma, she pretty much let me and my older cousin do whatever we wanted within reason.

But as an adult, I've gained a newfound appreciation for her. As I've grown, our conversations have grown. And with that, my respect for her has grown. When I was a kid, she was sweet grandma. As an adult, I understand that she was once a child herself and love hearing her stories. (She supports my cotton plantation summer camp for children idea.) I also have greater insight into her as a woman, a wife, a mother, and a friend. For a woman who doesn't drive and who dropped out of school in 10th grade, she is quite resourceful.  She is a giver to all whom she loves. She's a great friend. She was a great wife. She gives great advice in her own simple way. She's a sensitive soul. She's just great and so pure. And I'm certain she's about to be a kickass great grandmother.

Oh and one other important thing, she is an exceptional cook.

So happy 80th birthday to my grandma.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Ebony & Ivory

"Ebony and Ivory live together in perfect harmony."-Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder

Unless one comments about a sensitive article on Facebook with something that could read as being racist. That's where social networking with “friends” outside of your race can go awry.

Today, I read an article calling out VH1 for its horrific depictions of black people, particularly women, through its various forays into the reality show genre. My favorite quote from the article was "We now have more people of color on television than ever before, and most are acting like damned fools. Who needs Jezebel when you've got Evelyn Lozada, coons when you have Flavor Flav, tragic mulattos when you have Emily Bustamante and Kimbella, and black bucks when you've got Chad Ochocinco? How did a network that launched on New Year's Day of 1985 with the video of Marvin Gaye's legendary rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner" fall so far from grace?" If you ask me, VH1 is more detrimental to the reputations of black people than BET with its current line-up of reruns of black sitcoms and “106 & Park”.

I posted a link to Facebook and my more enlightened friends agreed with the article’s contents. And then it happened. One of my white peers from graduate school commented with the following: "As a white person who honestly did not grow up with many black people (there was 1 in my hs class of 300), I have never understood why so many on tv like to perpetuate the awful stereotypes. Of course this is true with all races/sexes but it seems to be worse for blacks and females. I could go on forever on this subject but I'm just glad I was exposed to The Jeffersons and Cosbys growing up and not reality shows for my first "experience" with black people. My grandparents did live in Flint but we almost always saw them at their cottage in Gladwin and, outside of going to church and Crossroads Village, they never really took us anywhere when we were in Flint.”

Insert record scratch here.

It wasn’t even the first sentence that got me because I'm especially tired of the stereotypes on the reality shows. It was somewhere around saying that stereotypes for blacks and women stand out as worse than others. Then she goes into how she visited her grandparents' cottage in the Flint area. Her grandparents never exposed her to the minority-filled, economically-deprived town known as Flint.

The truth hurts and people always say that the terrible characterizations of black people on television lead to how other people perceive us. However, I can say that a good 90 percent of my FB friends are black and what could have been a great discussion on media stereotypes and why people love such shows came to a screeching halt. And this is not the first time I've seen this happen. Even though FB is a public domain, many of us like to think that when it comes to such discussions, only those who know us well with engage. Or at least know us ENOUGH! And there are certain discussions black people tend to only like to engage in with other black people.

I told someone that if she had been a close friend of mine, I would've taken on the role of the appropriate black friend and sent her a message about how there are certain things that just shouldn’t be said in mixed company and there are certain ways of saying certain things. If we’re really close, I would’ve just said “you know what you just said came off as racist, right.”

We are far from a post-racial America. It’s not that blacks and whites can’t have discussions with each other about race. But it only happens after the two people discussing have an understanding about each other. Because it will almost inevitably end in agreeing to disagree and most people aren’t cordial enough to do that with people they don’t know.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Think Like A Man

"You gotta act like a woman, but think like a man."-Jennifer Hudson

This is the blog where one may question my status as a young, educated black professional. I may even lose friends, associates, and acquaintances who pride themselves for being on a journey to becoming a part of the black elite. And here's why.


Finally, that is off of my chest.

I just felt like that is the one thing I have not seen written about his various projects by any black person that has a degree. If you want to read why such people don't like any of it, just Google it. There's plenty and that’s about all the negative space I plan to lend to this.

Now let's go into my feelings about the book. The book was funny. It was simple and it was written in Steve Harvey's comic-yet-country voice. To me, a lot of it was common sense but common sense isn't all that common. No, I do not believe it is the Bible on dating for black women, but I'm sure it provided “a ha” moments for quite a few women. Now you may be asking how could a woman have such a moment from a middle-aged comedian with multiple marriages. My response to you is how many times have several people said the exact same thing to you, only for it to finally stick when a particular person said it. Hell, from the day you're born, your parents tell you to close your legs. Your pastor tell you to close your legs. Your sex ed teacher tells you to close your legs. But it's not until you've been through some bullshit and someone tells you in a way that you understand that you think maybe you should close your legs. And if you don't believe comedians don't hold a certain amount of weight in this world, you must not have seen the various reports of young adults receiving a lot of their news from The Daily Show.

Now on to the movie. It took me back to the black romantic comedies of the late 90s and early 2000s. My favorite critique thus far is how things wouldn't have worked out like that for the characters in real life. Ummmm, that's why it's a movie. In real life, Morris Chestnut's character in The Best Man would have had that fight, gotten arrested for hotel vandalism, had his pic posted on TMZ, and Mia would have been at his side at the court hearing, possibly with a black eye. (I'm just saying dude was violent.) But it was a good movie about various types of people trying to figure out their way around this thing called love and relationships. Hell, I have a whole romantic comedy collection filled with white people doing the same stuff.

So yes I enjoyed it all and I don't want to kill the messenger like some people. Hell, my dad talks about how women and men should carry themselves all the time and my mom is his third marriage.  He has kids from multiple marriages, but that doesn't mean he's not worth listening to.  Many people say that the book promotes playing games and forces women to change gender roles. I've read it and it doesn't say “act like a man", it says "think like a man" which to me read as “here is the way men think." Men don't think of 90-day plans to not have sex, last I checked. And for people, particularly women, who say it's about playing games, just know that the second you decide to put on 5-inch heels, beat your face, get your hair done and put on your best dress to go out, you are executing strategy. Winning at anything requires strategy. But then again, what do I know. Last time someone asked me for a book on relationships, I suggested Sun Tzu's Art of War.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

I Don't Want to Be

"I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately. All I have to do is think of me and I have piece of mind."- Gavin DeGraw

Last week saw one of my most favorite guilty pleasure shows of all time come to an end. That show was One Tree Hill and the above song played during the opening credits for most of the seasons.

At its core, One Tree Hill reminded me of my very first hardcore guilty pleasure addiction which was the original Beverly Hills, 90210. Both contained all these lives that were intertwined while growing into adulthood. Both contained love triangles, terrible parents and traumatic experiences galore.

So since One Tree Hill ended after nine seasons, I figured I would offer up nine reasons why I enjoyed the show.

1) Dan Scott: No one expects to see one of the most complex characters of the 21st century on a teen show but that is what you got in Dan Scott. He pretty much knocked up his high school girlfriend, went off to college and subsequently knocked up another girlfriend months later to produce project twins. However he married the college girlfriend and raised that child and left the other one out to dry. His athletic prowess is passed on to both of his sons who he raises to pretty much hate each other. Dan's brother Keith raises his bastard son (also while being in love with his first baby mama) and Dan pretty much thanks him by killing him. His relationship with his first wife pretty much revolves around insults and hate. Yet, Dan will kill anybody who tries to bring harm to his son or grandchildren. And I do mean kill. I literally could write an entire blog just on the story of Dan Scott alone. Somehow it was easy to love and hate Dan simultaneously.

2) Chad Michael Murray & James Lafferty: Both of these men played the sons of Dan Scott and both showed their asshole gene at some point and time. But most importantly, both of these men are very attractive. James has a beautiful body and Chad has a gorgeous face.

3) The Music: OMG. As someone who loves music of various genres, One Tree Hill fed my soul when it came to pop and rock and alternative. Fall Out Boy, The Wreckers, Laura Izibor and Gavin DeGraw were just a few of the artists that graced the show. If I could have Peyton's record collection, I would be so happy. Oh and this show always played perfect music for the various scenes.

4) The Incestuousness: True, that is not a real word, but let's see if I can explain how too many people are related. Lucas and Nathan are brothers. Haley is Lucas' best friend. Nathan marries Haley which makes her now Lucas' sister-in-law. Lucas' mother is Karen. Karen has a baby by Keith who is now pretty much Lucas' sister but could also be considered biologically a cousin. And this is just one set of links.

5) Sharing is Caring: Between Lucas and Nathan, they have slept with every main female lead on the show up through season 6. Sometimes it was even recorded for posterity.

6) The Kids: Up until about the 7th season, Jamie Scott was the cutest kid ever on television. Because he hung around adults, he was wise for his age. He was able to forgive his grandfather for killing his great uncle. He took his role seriously as the man of the house when his father disappeared. However, he wasn’t as cute anymore and they brought on Logan who is just the simplest cute kid ever.

7) The Sticking It Out: My friend @29tolifeblog pointed out to me that OTH was one of the few shows that once the characters got older, they pretty much focused on working their relationships out. There wasn’t a whole lot of bed hopping except for the resident whores at the time. And when I say people have been through some of everything on this show in their relationships, I’m talking whoring nannies, paternity tests, cocky ass musicians, exes moving to town, cocaine addictions, hot interns, the works. But pretty much every couple on the show has been together for a long time.

8) The Assholes: I know it's wrong but you have to admit asshole behavior often brings a level of comedy to every show. It at least brings snarky comments and every guy on the show pretty much had at the very least an asshole moment. And every guy on the show was so good at it. Especially Chad Michael Murray, James Lafferty and Dan Scott.

9) The Bitchiness: The one thing I do like about One Tree Hill is when the girls were bitchy, they often had no problem getting physical. I think every woman on the show has gotten into a fight or at the very least slapped someone. And the comments that come out when friends go from frenemies to enemies could focus on anything from being a slut to dead mothers. My personal favorite was Haley’s slap to the woman accusing her husband of being her baby daddy.

Wasn't all of that terrible? Oh well. Guess I will just have to survive watching my DVDs.

I will leave you with one of my favorite light-hearted scenes though.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

21 Questions

"Are you mad cause I'm asking you 21 questions?"-50 Cent

So the blogger over at 29 to Life decided I was so cool that I needed to answer some questions about myself in this blog and pass the love along. So here it goes.

Here are the rules:

Post the rules.

Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post

Create eleven new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged.

Tag eleven people and link to them on your post.

Let them know you’ve tagged them!

Now it’s my turn to ask questions.

1. What made you decide to start a blog? This is like my fourth attempt at blogging. I figured if I connected the theme of music to it, I would blog more consistently.

2. How did you come up with your blog name? I love music and I know that life is a journey with a destination often unknown to us. Plus, my name is Tasha.

3. What are you most afraid of? Bees.

4. What is the thing that comes most naturally to you? Information-seeking. I'm a librarian, it is what I do.

5. If you could only choose to eat and drink one thing every day for the rest of your life what would that food and that drink be? Fried chicken and Faygo Rock & Rye.

6. What was a thing you thought as a child was so cool and found to be totally overrated once you reached adulthood? Driving. I'm so ready for a chauffeur and a sponsor for gas money.

7. What’s the best piece of advice someone gave you? Do you.

8. How long have you been friends with your best friend in the whole world? I have really close friends, but not necessarily a best friend. But my grandma is my boo and I've known her all my life.

9. What youtube video is guaranteed to make you smile or laugh every single time? The Youtube video for Mahna Mahna.

10. Besides writing, do you have any other creative outlets and what are they? Yes actually. I tend to love working on DIY projects around my apartment.

11. What is your favorite “I’m pissed off” song? Fighter by Christina Aguilera. It covers a multitude of romantic, work and family situations.

Now time for my questions.

1) If you could be an adult during any other decade in history, which would you choose?

2) If you could get rid of any one celebrity, who would you choose?

3) Who was your childhood celebrity crush?

4) What outfit are you wearing in a picture from your past that makes you shake your head?

5) What is your favorite love song?

6) What is your guilty pleasure show?

7) Who is your favorite author?

8) Which cartoon character most closely resembles your personality?

9) What is your least favorite chore?

10) Which post is your favorite on Tasha's 365 Musical Journey?

11) Which zodiac sign do you feel you are most compatible with?

Now time to tag

That's all the people I feel like tagging.

Saturday, March 31, 2012


"Even when I'm a mess, I still put on a vest with an S on my chest. Oh yes, I'm a superwoman."- Alicia Keys

Today I applied window film to the windows above my blinds to discontinue the peep show that I'm sure my neighbors across the street were getting. No more Lane Bryant lingerie fashion shows for you. :P

Anyway, let's just say this exercise took two valiant efforts of which the second was the most successful. It may not be perfect but damnit, I did it myself.

So here is a list of tips I created after the situation to possibly help some other unsuspecting single woman who lives hundreds of miles from her closet male friends and most importantly, her father.

1. If you should ever decide to place window film on your windows, do not get any with the adhesive backing unless the window measures like 3 ft. X 3 ft. Trust me, you are asking for a Lucille Ball-esque disaster of sitcom proportions. Oh and buy the kit to help you put it up.

2. Anything that says it can be put up in a matter of minutes is a damn lie if you're doing this by yourself. I'm tempted to go back to the hardware store and write false advertisement over every box.

2. If you are vertically challenged like myself, it may be wise to invest in the step-stool with three steps instead of two. This was not a problem until I decided 9 ft. ceilings were pretty.

3. However, if you only have the one with two steps, it's time to get the most money out of the highest pair of heels that you trust on a step-stool. For me, it was a pair of boots. But as I said, damnit it got done.

4. There will be many instructions to such an activity. I can also promise you that there will be some improvisation. As long as it looks decent, nobody will be mad at you.

5. Once you complete such a task, call your dad. If he is anything like mine, he will say how proud he is of you. Why? Because no matter how many degrees you earn and jobs you have, your dad wants to know you can take care of yourself. Projects like this make him feel better.

6. If you use your tits and ass to your advantage with the right kind male stranger or fraternity brother, you won't have to worry about the rest of these tips. I swear that's what I'm going to do next time because this was a workout and a half.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

None of Your Business

"Now who do you think you are? Putting your cheap two-cents in. Don't you got nothin' to do than worry about my friends."- Salt-N-Pepa

For the past month or so, it seems that the United States and the states within it have declared that its newest war is on the rights and the uteruses of women. Laws calling for ultrasounds, heartbeats and detailed explanations before abortions are being proposed and passed. My most recent favorite is the one stating that employers in Arizona could choose not to cover birth control for female employees.

Talk about some bullshit. Part of me thinks that this is a direct result of men being pissed that in recent years, studies have shown that women survived the recession better than men did, getting more education and holding on to more jobs. When you look at the legislators sponsoring these bills, they are almost always white males. (Don't get me wrong, conversations with black men indicate they also have a great tendency to be pro-life.)Seriously, what is supposed to slow a woman down quicker than a baby? Hell, that's why we need the birth control coverage. And I am very much pro-choice because I think some women who already have children shouldn't be mothers. Actually, I will go so far as saying that if abortion was outlawed, we would see more deaths of women resulting from illegal abortions and more Casey Anthonys, i.e. women who get fed up with the children they didn't want in the first place who get rid of them any way they can.

But men want us to have children. They want the miracle that begins at conception to exist in this world. So here is what I would like to see happen if these laws and bills were to pass. Every woman should learn the name of any local politician who supported such a passage in any shape or form. Should she decides that the legislator played a role in keeping her from not bringing an unwanted child in this world, she should be able to leave her newborn child within 72 hours of birth on the doorstop of said politician with no questions asked. It's sort of like the Safe Haven laws because these politicians do profess to be protecting these "innocent, unborn children."

If men want them so badly, they should have the primary responsibility of making sure they are taken care of. And some have argued that these laws would make women think twice about who they sleep with, but I'm pretty sure that unless you find a way to make sex feel utterly terrible, unwanted pregnancy isn't going away. Though, all these men could help by teaching all their sons, grandsons, nephews and the other male members of the generations coming after them to "just say no" to vajayjay. Hell, a Republican woman even came up with that slogan. Plus, isn't there still an economy that needs saving and people without jobs.

Sunday, March 4, 2012


"I'm a believer, not just a dreamer. I'm giving everything a got. I'm a go-getter. 100-percenter."-Mariah Carey

I've come to a very important conclusion about the people that I surround myself with. Half-assers and I do not get along that well.

Seriously, I can only tolerate so much of people whose dreams and plans only truly exist as fantasies. If you want to be in fashion, work runway shows, network, maybe even move to New York, LA or Miami. You may be eating Ramen Noodles for awhile but you will at least be a step closer to your goals. If you truly need a job, don't just complain and say I need a job. Go out and network. When people give you job leads, take them up on it. Don't say suggestions are too far or you're too good for something because broke and in debt is never too good for an actual paycheck.

And I've come to realize part of the reason why I am like this. Most of the people that I associate with on a regular basis are do-ers. I have one friend that is pretty much in the process of starting a business while also writing a book. Another friend decided that she wanted to live a healthier lifestyle so she spends a great chunk of her week working out. I cannot name the countless successful associates and friends from college who have gone on to become architects, editors and doctors. My linesister is going for her Ph.D. and she's a single mom with two kids. My married niece is currently working on her Ph.D., working as a teacher and working as a hardcore Mary Kay consultant (She wants to drive a pink Cadillac Escalade like the ones in the majors.) In the past two years, one of my friends has gotten married, attended school for a degree in education and joined my sorority. If you notice, I don't say they're talking about doing, they're doing. And we won't even go into all the craziness I've done over the past 12 years to make sure that I'm growing as a person.

So yeah, for all those reasons, I can't be dealing with half-assers on a regular basis. I know too many 100 percenters.

Sexy To Me

"Mind. Check. Body. Check. My sensuality. Check. Car keys and my paycheck. Now I'm ready. Danger."- JoJo

Ok, so I know I am way overdue on a feel-good song and this song definitely goes into that category. Even if it's not a Friday.

Because I will have a busy traveling schedule in the next coming months, I figured that it would be better to get on planning my 30th birthday celebration well in advance. Especially since it will cost a nice little amount of money. It will involve D.C., the Michael Jackson Immortal Cirque du Soleil tour, a boutique hotel and hopefully good liquor, good food and good friends. 

So when I heard this song, despite it being so far in advance, I was like this soooooooooo needs to be my birthday anthem. Though I have no plans on buying a round of shots because it's my birthday (Hey, birthday shots should not be bought by me, they should be bought for me.), I plan on making my birthday weekend all about me and this song definitely embodies that. Plus, I almost never try to keep the focus solely on me and I deserve to every once in awhile. So I will not be trying to catch up with people who are not willing to come where I'm at. The only plans I will truly care about are my own. Hell, everybody else gets to so why not? I already have at least one friend down to be the passenger on this ride. Some tickets have been purchased. Room has been booked. I just need to get through the next couple of months.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Me Time

"All things being equal, I always put you first."- Heather Headley

It is Monday evening and I am still thinking about how much I enjoyed this weekend of pretty much just me.

All I did was clean my apartment (which resulted in the loss of a Bluetooth that I still haven't recovered yet), watch a little TV, run some errands and play on my Wii. But it was all about me. I even found time to look into plans for the birthday weekend I'm planning in June and my trip to Chicago for Boule.

I know it's not a big deal but I haven't spent an entire weekend in my apartment, let alone in the state of Ohio, since January. The first weekend I was in D.C. for a birthday party, the second weekend found me in Detroit for a baby shower and then I headed back to the D for my cousin's birthday dinner and a concert.

Outside of the concert, pretty much everything I did centered around someone else and I love being there for the ones I love. But I really started to look forward to the weekend to myself as it inched closer and closer. Also, I've noticed over the course of my life, I have often had a tendency to prioritize others above my need for space and free time. Sometimes it came from an assumption that if I turn down an opportunity to do something, nothing else will arise when I want to do something.  Other times, it comes more from peer pressure.  That's why when I really don't want to be by myself, I find ways to neglect my phone. 

So, for a weekend, I really prioritized myself. And you know what, it was worth it. And I don't have anything scheduled for next weekend so I may just get another chance to do so. And supposedly some Girl Scouts will be selling cookies nearby.  A possible weekend in my recently cleaned home with Tagalongs and Cinderella featuring Whitney. Could a girl be so lucky?

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

"And if somebody loves you, won't they always love you."- Whitney Houston

By now, we all know that one of the greatest singers known to man has passed and I have been questioning myself about how to address it in this blog.

For one thing, I didn’t expect for the death of Whitney Houston to affect me as much as it had. In the end, it’s because I realized that Whitney was so tangible to so many of us. Through her music and through her craziness, it was easy to feel like I knew someone like her and almost like I knew her.

When she released her first album, I was three years old with the Fisher-Price radio and man, I thought I could sing. When I was around eight years old, I went to Cedar Point and belted out “I Will Always Love You” to be recorded on cassette tape for younger family members to laugh at years later. I’m sure hyenas would crack up as well. In high school, “My Love Is Your Love” came out right around the time when I was dealing with an ignorant ass negro who didn’t realize what he had. While in college, everybody slept on the Just Whitney album, but something about “Try It On My Own” spoke to an independent streak that was erupting within me and continues to until this day. Too many of my musical memories were wrapped around this woman.

And then there were the flaws. Let me just say that as soon as I told my dad about her death, he blamed Bobby Brown and went on a tirade about associating with the wrong man. That was his little lecture. Hell, Bobby Brown wasn’t the best influence in the world, but you can’t say Whitney didn’t love him. Hell, they were married for 15 years and many of the people who faulted their union couldn’t sustain a marriage for a third of that. They loved hard.

We also can’t forget “crack is whack”. Who in the world would admit to the all the drugs they used in a nationally-televised interview? But she did and when asked who is the devil, she said that she was because it was her making the decisions. Oddly, that made me more of a fan because there a sense of accountability there when everyone else wanted to put it off on someone else.

So yeah, I am a little brokenhearted right now because not only has the world lost a great talent, but we also lost someone who showed what it is to love hard and to be unapologetically honest. In this world, that combination is so rare.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

You Talk Too Much

"Everyday you are out fighting someone in the street. And you’re always fighting someone you know you can’t beat. Then you wonder how you got in this mess. Just think of what you said, then take a guess."- Run D.M.C.

Before I write this, I will put forth a disclaimer. I am not a Roland Martin fan. I have not liked him since he walked into my journalism class junior year acting like a pompous ass using put-downs as his form of “motivation.” None were directed personally towards me, but I could’ve lived without it.

Fast forward some nine years and one can see where put-downs has landed Roland Martin today. He was temporarily suspended from his correspondent position at CNN for tweeting the following: "If a dude at your Super Bowl party is hyped about David Beckham's H&M underwear ad, smack the ish out of him." The people over at GLAAD condemned him for it and the end result was him getting the boot from a major cable network.

Now some people are trying to say that the text was taken out of context and it was Roland further dissing the sport that he loathes known as soccer. Let’s dissect the tweet, shall we. Ok we already know that the target of the tweet are males because it says “dude.” Ok. Got that down. “Hyped about David Beckham’s H&M underwear ad” means someone who is excited about seeing a man in his underwear who happens to be a soccer player. Though, anyone who enjoys the ad can tell you soccer was the last thing on their mind. Finally, he says “smack the ish out of him” which means to direct violence towards. So let’s take the first two parts and put them together: Men who are excited about seeing a man in his underwear. Yep, that sounds like gay men to me. Let’s put it all together now: direct violence towards men who get excited about seeing a man in his underwear. Yep, hurt gay men is what that tweet says in so many words. That may not have been what he meant to say but that’s how he comes off, out of context of following Roland’s anti-soccer rants on the regular.

Many of my fellow black people are saying that this was just part of an effort to get a black man off TV. I don’t remember “The Man” sitting at Roland’s keyboard when he did it. In fact, he owned up to the fact that he did it and initially didn’t seem to get why people were upset. Funny this coming from a wordsmith.

In my past profession, I worked as a journalist and when you go into certain professions, it is understood that you should not do certain things as you are considered to represent the company you work for. The higher your profile, the more you represent. You are not supposed to publicly announce political beliefs, join voter registration drives, or campaign for candidates. Pretty much, you’re supposed to do a lot of things which indicate that you are fair when you are reporting. In this day and age, that includes maintaining a sensible public social media profile. Mr. Martin obviously didn’t get that memo or thought that he lived above it.

I said this on Twitter and I’ll say it here. Freedom of speech does not mean freedom from consequences. If you don’t believe me, you have the freedom to call your mom a bitch. I dare you to try it. Trust, you’ll really see what “smacking the ish” out of someone looks like.