Sunday, June 30, 2013

Take Me As I Am

"Take me as I am. Or have nothing at all"- Mary J. Blige

Honestly, there is so much running through my mind right now that I went back and forth several times on what to blog about by month's end. Moving, lust and travel will do that to you.

But finally, it dawned on me during a conversation with my little cousin as I try to sift through my own personal feelings and issues (which by the time I finally blog about the latest round, it may require the length of a dissertation). 

We were at a birthday party for her niece and nephew when she asks me if she were to ever get married, would it be ok not to have alcohol at her wedding? Considering the fact that I'm still trying to nail down a happy hour for my birthday in two weeks, I may not have been the best person to come to for such advice, but I informed her that people do it all the time. However, since she has yet to choose a groom, I did tell her that there's a chance that her husband would prefer to have alcohol at a reception because of his lifestyle or culture. Her response: "Well that won't matter. We won't be having it."

And there it is. At 22 years old, she is already uncompromising towards a man she has yet to meet. Now there is a chance she could find someone with the same distaste for alcohol. But her response, mixed with several comments I've heard from women eight years her senior, just indicated to me how unyielding many of my single female friends are. Mind you, many of my married and booed up friends seem to not have the same hang-ups. Actually, quite a few times, I've pointed out where they are dealing with things they said they would never deal with. And their response is that you learn to deal with certain things if you love someone and want to be with them enough. 

So maybe it's time for us to stop focusing on what we won't do or deal with and focus on what we most certainly know we will do for a decent person who comes into our lives and offers those things we've been missing. Because right now, the other stance is leaving us with nothing at all. Just a thought.