Friday, October 2, 2015

I Just Wanna Be Your Girl

"I just wanna be your girl/Why won't you just let me be your girl?"-Chapter 8

This morning, I posted a meme that read: "Guys nowadays don't want girlfriends, just want a girl who acts like a girlfriend and is loyal to them while they mess with other females." Some of my FB followers had a moment with that one simple meme.

I can't tell you how many guys I know of that have women in their lives fulfilling many of the roles of a girlfriend without a title. Cooking for them everyday. Running their errands. Stroking their ego. Serving as their second in command. And yes, putting it down in the bedroom as well. And the girlfriend-acting women are lonely while the guy is content. And why wouldn't he be? All of his needs are being met while he manages to pacify the woman just enough.

I've often been told that I'm cold because I don't believe in cooking, cleaning, or handling the affairs of any man that I am not officially dating or in a relationship. I'm sorry but that's like me going to audition for the role of Olivia Pope's best black female friend on Scandal. Now we all know Liv does not have a best friend, she doesn't have black friends at the moment and Abby was her last female friend. Therefore the role does not exist. Also, I am not an actress so I wouldn't be up for it. There is no use in auditioning for a role that either does not exist, nor that you're a contender for. All that to say, this is what these women are doing when the role they are seeking is not for them.

Don't get me wrong, men can be sexy, charming and convincing. But many women deserve better. I recall a story Steve Harvey told about needing a new car while his old car sat on bricks in the driveway. His mother asked him how he expected to be blessed with a new car when his old car was taking up space where it would sit. So he got rid of the old car and guess what? A new car came into his life. Moral of the story: when you're playing the girlfriend role for someone unappreciative and undeserving, that man is taking the space of a man who will treat you the way you deserve. And it actually can go vice versa for the man in the situation as well.

So today's lesson is stop auditioning for the girlfriend role when a casting call has not been put out.


  1. Mic drop. "stop auditioning for the girlfriend role when a casting call has not been put out." Yaaaas. Tell it.

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  3. My ex and I use to argue about this all the time. You don't give me the title of girlfriend, I'm not going to act like it! He use to get mad because I didn't cook or put out for him. Nope not me! I deserve to have a title and be something important to you. Then I'll put out and cook!